ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Helping Your Child Discover What is Causing Stress in their Lives

Updated on April 26, 2012
Help your child discover there stressors. Then help them to deal with those stressors before they crack!
Help your child discover there stressors. Then help them to deal with those stressors before they crack! | Source

Stress is something at we will all find ourselves having to deal with at one time or another in our lives. There is just no escaping the fact that if you are alive there will be stress in your life – both good and bad.

Until you assist your child in discovering what their stressors are, you will not be able to help your child deal with those same stresses.


Younger kids may be able to better express their feelings through art.
Younger kids may be able to better express their feelings through art. | Source

Using Art as a Stress Discovery Tool

Sometimes children, especially younger children, cannot verbalize what is causing them stress or how they are feeling stressed. Asking them about it can be frustrating for both of you – you because you feel they are refusing to answer, and them because they lack the thought processes to put into words what or how they are feeling.

Many times when they cannot find the words, they can create a drawing that clearly illustrates what they are feeling. Work together on this. Grab a couple blank sheets of paper – one for you and one for them. Ask your child to draw about what is making them feel unhappy or sad or angry? You start drawing and encourage them to do the same. While drawing, talk to your child about your drawing and ask them about theirs. Casually ask about the things they are drawing, their choice of colors and what the drawing means to them. Then listen – really listen – to what they share with you.


Using Discussion as a Stress Discovery Tool

When talking with your child, you do not want to force them to talk about what is bothering them. Consider creating opportunities for them to share their issues with you, such as car trips, walks together or bedtime.

And then instead of asking, “What’s wrong?” ask more specific questions such as, “How are things going between you and Paul?” Paul is your son’s best friend and he has spoken of him in a couple days. This might be a good indication that something is wrong. Or you might just ask, “How is Paul doing? I haven’t seen him in a few days. I hope he is not sick.”

Create opportunities to spend special one-on-one time with your child. Find an activity, passion, or hobby which you can do alone with your child. Not only will this time create a special bond between you and your child, it will afford an opportunity for your child to talk to you about what is going on in their life. And you can have fun at the same time! If talking is fun, they are more likely to do it.

No matter what your child shares with you, it is important that you do not criticize what they share with you. If you do, your child will learn not to tell you things soon stop sharing with you. If this happens you will not be able to help them learn the strategies they need to learn to deal with stress.


Using Active Listening as a Stress Discovery Tool

At the end of the above paragraph, I stressed that we should “really listen”. Really listening means that we are actively listening. To actively listen means to be actively involved in the process of listening. It requires our full undivided attention, and it generally does not require us to share more than an occasional affirmative to let them know that they still have our attention.

Active listening is very important in letting a child know that they are important to you. Many times they do not want any advice and they do not want us to try and solve or fix the problem for them. They just want to know that they are being heard.

Sometimes this can be hard for them to do, especially face to face. Sharing a quiet activity with them such as going for a walk allows them the time they need to share in an environment that may be less intense that facing someone face to face – especially if they are feeling doubts about themselves, and fear what they might see in your face while they are sharing, or if they are feeling guilt.


What To Do With This Knowledge

Until you know what the stressors are in your child's life, you may not know what avenue to pursue in helping them to deal with their stress. For example, if is is school, maybe they need a tutor. If it is being bullied, this will require a different type of coping skill.

Finding your child's stressors arms you with knowledge. With this knowledge, you can guide you child to a solution to their stresses. A child who is able to deal with their stressors successfully, is a child who is healthier and happier.

Once you know what the stressors are, you can deal with them, Kids and Stress ~ Stress Management for Kids. Check it out!


All Rights Reserved

Copyright © 2012 Cindy Murdoch (homesteadbound)


Your Future is Waiting! Do you feel you have great information or stories to share with others? Sign Up Here. . . It’s quick, easy and free to join HubPages!

working

This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://corp.maven.io/privacy-policy

Show Details
Necessary
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Features
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Marketing
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Statistics
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)